Thursday, 10 May 2012

You and Your Complex

Sometimes, it beats my imagination why some people just behave irrationally when they find themselves in a particular circumstance. I just sat down one day and I deeply thought about it and found that our actions, reactions, instincts and intuition are basically functions of our complex.
What is a complex? Well, I would define it as the entirety of one’s being built up unconsciously by the accumulation of the many experiences one has been exposed to in the past and, as such, influences one’s present behavior. People everywhere have issues with their complexes, either positively, negatively or indifferently. Some things just come naturally to us and we make excuses for our actions by saying, “Well, it’s the way I’ve been brought up”, “I didn’t have a choice”, “I was trying to defend myself” etc.
Basically, I’m not a judge of character but sincerely, I can tell you that many of our actions are influenced by our complex and it is nobody’s fault what our instincts make us do, whether good or bad. It is just our own personal fault. When you were a child, you behaved as a child and now that you are grown up, you are responsible for your actions. You have no more choice than any other to take care of what you do and how it affects others. Will it matter if someone slapped you unconsciously because of what he thought you meant but did not mean? Will the person’s actions be justified if he said that he did not know you meant something else? No. The deed is done and nothing can make sure that he never slapped you. It is the same way with our complex. What it makes us do cannot be justified by saying that it was not intentional because we most times do what we want to do.
I have come to understand that our complex determines how we view life and how we make decisions. Take for instance, someone with inferiority complex will feel insulted anytime someone says something they do not feel good about and they attribute it to the fact that it is because they are the way they are. they think if they were better, no one will talk to them that way. And they get better but they still feel the same way. Also, someone with superiority complex will feel insulted when someone says something true about them to them that they think they are already above. They go about feeling stupid and they think if they go far above all other person, they'd feel better and more respected but they soon find out at that higher place, it could be very lonely. They end up being unhappy and in turn, they become snappy and hyper-sentitive to everything everybody says about them. Well, both the inferior and superior get hyper-sensitive to what people say about them.
However, though, we all have complexes and we know how they have affected us, one way or the other. In other words, we have subjected ourselves and our instincts to our complexes. This, most times, makes us miserable when we get a time by ourselves and we think over our reactions and we ask ourselves why we did what we did.
I was commenting one day on someone's post about having opinions and being judgmental and I said something about not having an idea, that is, not judging an idea makes you either ignorant or conformed to that idea or being indifferent. All of this options are as a result of attitudes formed from complexes.
Be careful when your complex comes to play and you will be able to avoid some mistakes.

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