Wednesday, 30 May 2012

The Three Most Important Clauses


The Three Most Important Sentences


There are two important sentences, even three that are full of meaning, yet misconstrued, misused and really sound cliché.
These sentences are better understood by the egotistic and aristocratic and so they rarely use them unless they really mean it or it is a means to an end for their selfish interests. Many of us who use these words regularly have lost their innate meaning and so we do not care if we fail or not in fulfilling the promises and commitments that come with the sentences when they are used.
v  I’M SORRY
This is the easiest sentence/phrase/clause in my dictionary. As far as many of us are concerned, this clause does not necessarily mean we really are sorry. We just say it to get ‘the wronged’ off our backs and so we can live free afterwards. I woke up this morning and I was reflecting on the previous day and guess what, I was going to say “I’m sorry” to my God again like I do every day. Somehow, I began to reason why I just say this when I still kept at what I was sorry about. Then I realized that “I’m sorry” really didn’t mean a thing to me. It didn’t mean exactly what it really meant to me. I say I’m sorry because I knew that what I did was wrong and that I was not supposed to do them again but because I knew “I’m sorry” would make up for my wrongs, I didn’t care if I did it again because I could always say “I’m sorry”.
However, “I’m sorry” in its real sense means a commitment to not do the same wrong for which we are sorry again intentionally. When you want to say “I’m sorry”, always make sure you know what you are sorry about and why you are sorry. That way, you’d know if you are actually sorry and wouldn’t do it again. And only then would “Sorry” be enough to make up for the wrong.
v  THANK YOU
This sentence/phrase/clause has become nothing but a simple courtesy. Whereas, in the real sense, “thank you” is a heartfelt approval, acceptance, acknowledgement and appreciation of what someone does to or for you. In all sense, it means more than mere courtesy.
People just say “thank you” and its other derivatives casually without meaning. Whenever else you want to say “thank you”, think first if you really care for what you are grateful about. If not, be nice enough to tell the giver that you appreciate their kind gesture but you really do not want the gift (in kind or whatever) and that they could offer their gifts to someone else who would appreciate it on your behalf. That really is not that hard. Is it?
v  I LOVE YOU
This is another sentence/phrase/clause that has been misconstrued. This is one that is full of meaning and it communicates deep affection for another (family, friends, mentors, and everyone deserving). It is rather unfortunate that the sentence/phrase/clause is being used deceptively.
Have you ever wondered why these three sentences communicate much to the receiver/hearer of them? They believe them even when you nearly do not mean them. They would only not believe them on second thought when they consider the person who said them, how they said them and the situation in which they said them, reading in-between the lines for the intentions behind every word.

These three most important phrases/clauses/sentences have the ability to shape our world into an affectionate, caring and loving one wherein everyone watches out for one another and wants to see the best in one another.

Thursday, 10 May 2012

You and Your Complex

Sometimes, it beats my imagination why some people just behave irrationally when they find themselves in a particular circumstance. I just sat down one day and I deeply thought about it and found that our actions, reactions, instincts and intuition are basically functions of our complex.
What is a complex? Well, I would define it as the entirety of one’s being built up unconsciously by the accumulation of the many experiences one has been exposed to in the past and, as such, influences one’s present behavior. People everywhere have issues with their complexes, either positively, negatively or indifferently. Some things just come naturally to us and we make excuses for our actions by saying, “Well, it’s the way I’ve been brought up”, “I didn’t have a choice”, “I was trying to defend myself” etc.
Basically, I’m not a judge of character but sincerely, I can tell you that many of our actions are influenced by our complex and it is nobody’s fault what our instincts make us do, whether good or bad. It is just our own personal fault. When you were a child, you behaved as a child and now that you are grown up, you are responsible for your actions. You have no more choice than any other to take care of what you do and how it affects others. Will it matter if someone slapped you unconsciously because of what he thought you meant but did not mean? Will the person’s actions be justified if he said that he did not know you meant something else? No. The deed is done and nothing can make sure that he never slapped you. It is the same way with our complex. What it makes us do cannot be justified by saying that it was not intentional because we most times do what we want to do.
I have come to understand that our complex determines how we view life and how we make decisions. Take for instance, someone with inferiority complex will feel insulted anytime someone says something they do not feel good about and they attribute it to the fact that it is because they are the way they are. they think if they were better, no one will talk to them that way. And they get better but they still feel the same way. Also, someone with superiority complex will feel insulted when someone says something true about them to them that they think they are already above. They go about feeling stupid and they think if they go far above all other person, they'd feel better and more respected but they soon find out at that higher place, it could be very lonely. They end up being unhappy and in turn, they become snappy and hyper-sentitive to everything everybody says about them. Well, both the inferior and superior get hyper-sensitive to what people say about them.
However, though, we all have complexes and we know how they have affected us, one way or the other. In other words, we have subjected ourselves and our instincts to our complexes. This, most times, makes us miserable when we get a time by ourselves and we think over our reactions and we ask ourselves why we did what we did.
I was commenting one day on someone's post about having opinions and being judgmental and I said something about not having an idea, that is, not judging an idea makes you either ignorant or conformed to that idea or being indifferent. All of this options are as a result of attitudes formed from complexes.
Be careful when your complex comes to play and you will be able to avoid some mistakes.